All growing up, I shared a room with my sister Jenny. She and I fell asleep telling each other everything. I did tell her about the prompting I had in church. I also told her about the thoughts I had while reading the Book of Mormon at Disneyland.
Allison and James DeVuyst, my niece and her husband, and their 2 kiddos got the chance to move to our neighborhood. They were so close to our place that you could see their house from our street. We were gonna have so much fun. BUT, I knew I wasn't gonna be in my house for long. I knew what was coming. There was no second guessing the voice I heard. It also didn't say "think about divorce" or "consider divorce someday," but it said "now is the time to get divorced." That's not even grammar I use so I know it wasn't me talking to myself.
The Saturday that Allison and James moved in, we watched their kids and I made dinner. I asked Allison to not linger after dinner because I had to talk to Keenan. I told her about the prompting. I also had a sense that it was time. That was the day. I wasn't going to wait. I was going to follow. She totally understood. Their move took a long time, so they actually ended up just picking up their kids and dinner and heading home. They didn't even eat with us.
It was Saturday, January 25, the day before Kobe Bryant died in a helicopter accident. After we ate dinner, I asked Keenan if we could talk for a minute. I told him I felt we had tried our marriage every way, that we had read the books and gone to therapy, etc. I told him I thought it was time to get divorced. He stood up, grabbed a piece of paper and wrote DIVORCE on it. Then he asked me "ok, now what do we do?" I had two thoughts about that: 1. wow, does he have any emotion about this? and 2. It looks like I'll have to navigate us through this too.
It was amicable. We decided to list the townhome ASAP. We would split the equity and our 401K. We talked about who wanted what furniture, etc. Then Keenan disclosed some personal stuff that I really don't want to go into here. It proved to be a huge relief. I didn't have to worry about reconciling or the pressure to do so. I knew why I'd been prompted to pursue a divorce. Keenan was finally honest about his life and his goals and desires. He'd been hiding a lot. He hadn't been himself. It was time for him to be himself. He'll figure out life in his own way. That's what Mel told me and I agree.
We told the kids on Sunday. None of them were surprised. They were supportive. They understood. They kinda knew it was just a matter of time.
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