Sunday, July 30, 2023

A Blessing to Help Me Moving Forward

My basement is coming along!

I asked Kamiko if he would give me a blessing since my anxiety is pretty high. I'm not sleeping well and I keep running my to-do list and my budget through my mind. It's pretty bad. I am trying use self-talk to remind myself that things will work out. That I'll get my to-do list done. That my finances are in a great place. Anxiety still gets me and it can be really hard. Here's what's on my mind:

The cost of my basement remodel

The cost of our upcoming DisneyWorld trip

The UAFCS conference in September

Supervising interns

Communicating with mentor teachers

The sisters to whom I minister

No sisters reach out to me as my ministers - just a text would mean the world

My busy weekend schedule in August and September

Updating my vita

Getting courses ready for fall

How to juggle student needs and course rigor

Ok, that's depressing, but it's real. It's real. It's real. 

Kamiko and Bekki came over today before going to the Brau's for dinner. We had a great visit and talked about our upcoming trip to DisneyWorld and our September trip to Arkansas to see BYU play UARK. Then Kamiko gave me a very sweet blessing. The message that Heavenly Father had for me was very unexpected. Here's what I remember:

1. There really isn't anything Heavenly Father can do to help my situation.

2. Heavenly Father is aware of my strengths and of my students' weaknesses.

3. I need to leave work at work.

4. I can teach my students how to cook, but it is not my job to teach them life lessons. God will teach them. 

5. Take time to take care of myself. 

6. Taking care of myself will allow me to better help others, but I have to focus on myself right now.

7. Shift the focus that I have normally put on my students to myself and other worthwhile things.  

8. I might not have as close of relationships with my students, but it's ok. 

9. Heavenly Father is aware of me.

Whoa! I was so surprised. I don't quite know what this will look like, but I do think it looks like not hyper-focusing on work and on my students. I think it looks like taking care of my mental health over worrying about syllabus and class policies. We'll see. I initially said "Screw the students." Kamiko basically said, "Take care of yourself, mom. I almost said 'treat yourself.'"

I'm ready to see what this means. I think I'll write a note on my whiteboard to remind myself. 

July meant some visitors. It has been fun. Karen came into town to bring Elle to a golf camp. Allie came into town for a few days around the 4th of July. Sarah and Cameron were also here for the 4th. Derek and Rachel and kids were here, too. There was a bit of overlap and we had a blast. We borrowed the Hjorth's canopy and went to Tibble Fork up American Fork Canyon on July 3rd. Evidently the water was COLD. I wouldn't know. I didn't go in. 

4th of July BBQ at Allison's house with Karen

Working a bit this summer

My new dress from Burano. On my way to a wedding reception in American Fork



Karen, Allie, and I went on a run while Karen and Allie were in town

Hunters were in town and we had dinner. Melia, Rose, me, Grandma, Milo, and Charlie. Back row: Kamiko, grandpa, Derek, Rachel

Audrey, Allison, and I went to the Scera Shell to see Mary Poppins. One of my colleagues was in it. We had a blast and Audrey really liked it. 

Lunch with dad, Karen, me, and mom


Cousins at Tibble Fork: Mac, Allison, me, Sarah, Audrey, Mel, Allie. I love them all!

Movie day! Kamiko cracked me up with his Indiana Jones themed outfit. The movie was fun. I love movies and I love movies with my son. 

Monday, July 17, 2023

Venice - HATED it the first time. LOVED it this time.

Our study abroad ended with about 5 days in Venice. I wasn't sure what to expect since Annie Oswald and I couldn't get out of Venice fast enough in 2018. I think I must have been overwhelmed and needed more time because this time I loved Venice. 

Train to Venice


Look at Venice


I like it this time!

We took the train from Florence to Venice, arriving around 10:00 am. We got to our hotel, which was down a little alley right off the main walking street of Venice. There were lots of restaurants and shops nearby. The man at the desk was so nice. He gave us a map and marked places we might want to see, as well as recommending restaurants that could accommodate our huge group. Some students had rooms without air conditioning. Luckily, I had air conditioning in my room. Those without AC slept with windows open and got mosquito bites. Some took me up on my offer to share my insect repellent that I had bought in Paris, but many didn't like the feel of bug spray, so they just dealt with the bites. I had a window that opened to a tiny balcony with a clothesline and a view of other residents that faced the narrow alley. It felt very "Rear Window" to me. "Rear Window" is an Alfred Hitchcock film starring Jimmy Stewart and Grace Kelley. It's a good one. I did laundry and hung it outside to dry. We went to get dinner at a nearby restaurant and to walk around a bit. A storm started brewing. My clothes were outside. I wasn't sure we'd make it back, so I reached out to Mel. She wasn't at the hotel, so our TA Maile took my laundry in for me. Whew! We did get home before it started pouring, but it was close. 

My bed

Peep me in the mirror

Out to my patio with clothesline. Last time to do laundry


Peep my neighbor on her phone

Sunday we took the bus to church outside of the island of Venice. We had to almost run to the bus stop because 4 students came down with dresses that were either too short or too revealing. We had made it all the way to the end. I gently asked each student to go quickly change. We walked as fast as we dared in the heat to the bus stop and made it on the bus. It was about a 30 minute ride to the church. At one point, a woman who was a member of the church got on the bus and started trying to have a conversation with some of our students. Church is in a beautiful building with shuttered big windows and tile floors and wood beams. The woman playing the piano had a toddler near her. Once in a while, he played on the keys. It was really cute. His dad was on the stand, in the bishopric. You could see the family resemblance. I didn't understand much, but I loved being there. I also love that they have the congregation stand for rest hymns. It's like a 7th inning stretch in a baseball game. After church, we took some pictures and had a little "Come Follow Me" discussion. An American family was also there. Their Uber hadn't come to pick them up, so we taught them how to get back to Venice using the bus. They were very impressed. 

Natalie and I had discussed a change in plans and it turned out great. After church, we went to Burano. That is one place that I LOVED in 2018. The colorful houses and quaint atmosphere is unbeatable. Burano is known for lace making and we had tickets to go to the lace making museum, where we saw some beautiful pieces on display. It's a very small museum and was quick to walk through, but taught about the history of lace making on that island. To keep the secrets from getting out, lace makers would learn just certain parts of a piece of lace and just do their part. That way, nobody could copy an entire design. There were old pieces and new pieces. We also shopped. I tried on a linen dress with a watercolor print on it that represents Burano. I loved it. The colors were so vibrant. I tried on a couple of sizes with different colored belts. I thought about it and finally decided to just do it. I bought a dress that means a lot to me. It's long, so I had to hem it, but I've done that and have already worn it. It was a splurge of about $300, but I love it. I feel like it's my first "grown up" dress. So many of my dresses are more youthful. The students liked Burano. It was an inspired change in plans. 

Me, Ashley B, and Mel all wearing gingham on Sunday

Me and my girlie at church. Mel always made a point to sit by me at church and it meant a lot to me. 

The whole group at church in Venice

Look at the lace details







A cute modern lace piece 


I love how colorful Burano is!



This is a dream come true. When I left Burano in 2018, I never thought I'd be back. I can't believe I'm here

Monday we got up and went to our scheduled tour of St. Mark's Basilica and a gondola ride. When I went to the designated place to check in, they only had a reservation for half of our group. We had to book 2 tours and they only had record of 1 tour. They said it was a mistake on the part of the 3rd party company who scheduled it. The 3rd party company said it was the tour company's fault. In the meantime, Natalie was looking on her phone for more tour options. I kept making calls and double-checking. They said they could do the tour on Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday, but we already had things planned and paid for. Natalie suggested I ask the tour company one more time if there was anything they could do. They said they could keep group 1 on their original tour of the Basilica. They could get group 2 into the Basilica without a tour guide. All of us would return at 3:00 pm for gondola rides. So, group 1 went on their tour. Group 2, which included me and Natalie, Melia, and some other students. When the man apologetically walked us to the Basilica and said he couldn't offer a tour guide, Melia said "you did us a favor." It was actually a miracle that it worked out. Our group walked through the beautiful space at our own pace. It is covered with gold mosaic tiles and is stunning. At one point we passed group 1, who had headsets on, listening to a guide, and glaring at us. Oops. After the Basilica, we all went to get Gelato together. Pretty much every student who got whipped cream on their gelato saw their generous dollop of cream end up on the ground. It was just too hot. The gelato melted fast and the cream dropped. It was kinda funny. That afternoon we all got to go on 30 minute gondola rides. I was expecting a short 10 minute ride and was pleasantly surprised. Loved it. 

Me and Emily N in navy

St. Mark's Basilica

I loved the floors


Look at the shine from the gold mosaic tiles. WOW.



I loved these old mosaic pieces on the 2nd floor


The view from the balcony with part of my group, Ashley B, me, Bruce, Ashley F, Emily B, Ella, and Cami


Gondola with Natalie, Maile, Vanessa, and Sierra


We found fun places to eat in Venice, including a place called "Fried Land," which sold fried calamari in cones and all sorts of pastas in boxes - all to go. Mel and some friends found it first and it became our go-to place. It was cheap and good and had options. I also ate at McDonald's once. The cheeseburger and side salad were just what I needed. While in Venice, Ashley B and Bruce, who had become good friends, were on a quest for Harry Potter toys in Kinder Eggs. I don't know how many Kinder Eggs they bought. I don't think they know. Students started giving them money to buy more eggs because we were so invested in Bruce getting Ron Weasley to complete his set. HE FINALLY DID IT! We were all so excited. Ashley also kept collecting until she had a full set. They gave me some of their rejects, which I shared with Rose, Charlie, and Milo when I got home. 

Look at my little McDonald's viniagrette


One place we visited was the Fortuny Museum. Fortuny was an inventor, painter, designer, and all-around Renaissance man. His clothing designs were known for pleats. His work was beautiful and the work space was so serene. I could see how he could be inspired there. We also visited a bookstore that the hotel desk clerk highly recommended. Let's just say that Natalie, Maile, and I didn't love it. It was floor to ceiling, wall to wall books with no rhyme or reason for their placement. There were VERY narrow aisles to navigate. The cool thing is that they have access from the street and from the canal. They also have steps and a platform outside for taking photos that is entirely made of stacked books. Weird. I started to feel claustrophobic and couldn't get out soon enough. Natalie and I also found time to visit the Jewish Ghetto, the oldest Jewish community in Europe, dating back to the 1500's, when Jewish people were forced to live there. There were beautiful and somber monuments to those lost in the Holocaust. It was a very serene place and we highly recommended it to the students. I think most found their way there, as it was only about a 5 minute walk from where we stayed. 

Leaving the cluttered bookstore

Fortuny painted this

Fortuny's work space

Pleat details


Fortuny's office




Entrance to Jewish Ghetto
Artwork to depict transportation of Jews

Courtyard in Jewish Ghetto


The "High Water" bookstore


Monday night (around midnight) I had the impression to get out of bed and check the plan for Tuesday. When I did, I realized that I had given the students the wrong time. I'm so glad I followed the impression. So, in the morning, we sent a quick message, telling them of the correct time (30 minutes earlier) and the correct address. I started to take us to the wrong place, but Natalie noted that I was headed the wrong direction. Turns out there are 2 places in Venice with very similar names. Whoa. Miracles. That could have been a mess, too. We all arrived and got a great tour about the history of perfume, clothing, and textiles in Venice. We then went to tour the Doge's Palace. Way back when, it was the Doge who made all the decisions regarding laws and regulations for Venice. The palace is huge and ornate. I also did a bit of shopping and found another dress - a navy blue linen dress that is unlike another dress I'd seen yet. After all that, I was done and went back to the apartment for a nap. Maile went with me. Natalie stayed out and visited one remaining church on her list. We all got what we wanted. Hahaha. We had a group dinner at a restaurant nearby that was big enough to accommodate all of us. It was really fun. Maile, Melia, and Emily B had the idea to give everyone an "award" at the end of the study abroad. They gave Lily her award at dinner because she had to leave our program the next day. It was fun to have pretty much the whole back of the restaurant to ourselves. I had no idea there was a restaurant so big in Europe. It was great.



Always look up



Funny art that I loved

Prison in Doge's Palace





Look at the blown glass in this chandelier

Mocenigo family crest

How do you not fall in love with this piece?

Vests and details


Perfume work room


Perfume bottles

TA and professors. We did it!

Group dinner


Wednesday was our last full day and possibly one of my favorite days. We took an early water bus to Murano, the island known for glass blowing. Some students came early with me and Natalie. We wanted to get our shopping done before a museum visit so we had time to go to the beach after Murano. Students had gone to the beach earlier in the week and I was jealous and really really really wanted to go. In our early shopping, I bought a tiny blown glass nativity set for my advent calendar and a necklace. I also bought a gift for Kim Cassetti when her birthday rolls around. We looked at lots of shops and grabbed a quick lunch. The place the glass shop owner recommended was closed, so we got dumb sandwiches. Not that good, but they did the job. We went to the glass blowing museum and saw some incredible pieces. Then we saw an actual glass blower make a piece - he made a horse in less than 1 minute. He was a cute little man and Melia quickly befriended him when she took his photo. He came out and talked to us a bit. We used google translator since he spoke no English and we spoke no Italian. I bought Mel a tiny goldfish in a blue and white ball that she had her eye on. 

On the way to Murano



I found Nemo

Look at all the beautiful blown glass

Tools of the glass blower

Plan B: sandwiches with Emily B, Michaela, Thomas, Rennan, Maile and Natalie

Even garbage cans are cute on Murano

Our glass blower


Early morning Murano crew. I'm wearing my new linen dress. Thomas, Michaela, me, Rennan, Maile, Natalie and Emily B



Then we got on the water bus and headed to LIDO!!!! BEACH TIME. Since students shared videos of them riding on 4-person bicycle carts in Lido, I wanted to go. I knew I could make it happen after Murano. Mel and some friends joined me and Natalie. It was hot and we were hungry, so we got gelato. 3 of the students had brought swimsuits. The rest of us just hiked up our pants or skirts and got in up to our knees. The water was warm and it was just heavenly. I don't know what it was, but I just loved every minute. I think it was the reckless abandon of getting in the ocean without a swimsuit. I gathered some sand to bring home and put in bottles to remember my favorite day. I also brought enough to gift to some close friends. We only stayed at the beach for about an hour, then headed back to our hotel because it was time to pack to go home. Hard to believe the trip was ending. 

Beach girls! Natalie, Cassidy, Mel, me, Ashley, Allie, Maile

No swimsuits? It's ok. Rennan, Emily, Allie, me, Mel, Ashley


Mel, Allie, Me with Rennan in background

Cruising back to Venice proper on a crowded water bus

All of us met Wednesday evening for closing remarks and awards. Natalie and I shared our thoughts and hopes. I brought the EMPTY accordion file folder that had been FULL just 6 weeks prior. I explained that it was full of tickets and plans. Now that it is empty, the memories and learning are theirs to keep. I feel really good about what I shared. Then Maile, Mel, and Emily gave out the awards they had made on paper plates with colored markers. They were so fun and unique. Each award made perfect sense and made us laugh. 

Awards and last group selfie

My award was perfect. I sent the message every night for the next day. I often included reminders about weather, food, schedule, rigor of the activity, what to wear, etc. 

Our flight left Venice at 6:00 am. That meant we should be at the airport at 3:00 am. Natalie and I went back and forth, but decided to just leave Venice on the last bus that goes to the airport, at 12:30 pm. I had to take my carry on, backpack, and Mel's duffle that had her some of her stuff and some of mine. It was hard to lug all of that to the bus stop, but I did it. We got to the airport and found a place to sit and just waited and waited and waited for our gate to be announced. That didn't happen until about 5:00 am. We played games, tried to sleep in chairs, walked around, etc. It was not fun, but it was just the way it went. The good news was that, due to lack of sleep, I slept really well on the plane. I really slept a lot. We flew to Amsterdam, then to SLC. 

I had no choice but to wear the heavy duffle on my back. I was so happy to get to the airport and to get one bag checked. 

When we were about 2 hours from SLC, they had a snack for passengers. They were short 50 snacks, so they offered sky miles for whomever wanted to give up their snack. I had snacks and we were arriving in 2 hours. I totally gave up that snack, assuming I might get a couple hundred sky miles. When I checked, I got 4,000 miles in exchange for that snack. Good choice, Dana. I've already used my sky miles to schedule my flight from Orlando to SLC on August 8 so I can be home and rested for a meeting I have on August 9. 

The Lord blessed our efforts. We made it to each appointment. We were safe. We had great weather. Students made friends and I had a great time with Mel (and Allie). I got to spend time with my TAs, Thomas, Michaela, Emily B, and Maile and with majors like Emily N, Sierra, Cassidy, Ashley B, and Ruby. Some of the majors I didn't know well and now I really look forward to getting to know them better. It's so much work. It's emotional. I got one bad student rating that makes me sad. In the end, it's worth it and I'm thankful that I can do it.