Twinners!

Jen and I have always been mistaken for twins. We're only 15 months apart. We have similar taste in clothes and have many items that are the same. Well, on Wednesday, we went down to Provo. I taught my class via Zoom from the foods lab while she visited with Andrew. Then I went to see my place, then had lunch with my walking friends. In the morning, we both showed up in the kitchen looking very matchy. We got a good laugh out of it. Then in the afternoon, when Christian saw us, he noted that I "was wearing the fishes' outfit." Think about that and look closely.

In the bathroom of the JFSB

The house is coming along. You can see a bit of the flooring. I bought a fridge and washer and dryer on Friday

Mother's Day 2020: Covid-Style

I was at Kristen and Doug's house for Mother's Day this year and it was a fantastic celebration. Sarah and Cameron came up late Friday night and by Sunday they had purchased ingredients to make the best breakfast. We had French toast made from rich brioche bread, bacon, and fruit. It was so kind of them.

Kamiko and Bekki bought me a t-shirt that I love. I follow a friend of Kamiko's on Instagram. Her account is "the Bad Broadcast." She's just witty. Anyway, Kamiko knew that I really liked her content and he and Bekki bought me one of the t-shirts that she launched and designed. This one is Orange Juice. I just think it's so clever. A very thoughtful gift for sure. Kamiko and Bekki are doing great. Bekki is entering her last year of her PhD and will put herself on the market in the fall for jobs. I selfishly hope they end up in Utah, but they'll be great wherever they go. Kamiko is a hard worker and he's smart and good at what he does, so he'll succeed in whatever he does.

Allie gave me a choice of a bracelet or a hydroflask water bottle. I had to think long and hard, but in the end I picked hydro. I selected a slim light blue one and I really do like it. It keeps water cold for a long time. It helps me drink my water. So good for me. Allie has been a great teacher this year. Even with school abruptly ending, she's given her students meaningful assignments and has connected with them. She's also enjoying spending time with James and Allison and kids. I think it's fun for Allison to have some adult companionship. They enjoy their walks and errands, etc.

Mel called and we had a fun chat. She's such a light of a kid. If I had to guess, I'd think this divorce and all of our family's changes have been hardest on her. We moved from her childhood home the day after she came home from her mission. Shortly after that, her brother got married and moved away. Then a year later, mom and dad were getting divorced and the dad you thought you knew is gay. It's kinda a lot to take in.

Kristen and I arranged to have a Zoom meeting with mom for Mother's Day with our mom. I set up the link and secretly sent it to all my siblings and they passed it on to their kids. It was a fun way to visit as family. Jen wisely had everyone share something they had learned from mom/grandma. Kamiko told a story about when mom taught him to have an opinion. He was visiting one day and she asked him something simple like "do you want mustard on your sandwich? He said he didn't care and she told him to have an opinion and to voice it. We laughed about that. Another funny thing was that when Kamiko saw James Sykes and his wife with 2 kids, he said "James, you got another kid! When did that happen?" Mom was surprised and it really was fun to catch up. All of my kiddos showed up at some point. Kelly couldn't make it due to recovery from a procedure on her mouth. Poor Derek missed it by an hour due to the time change.

Top row: mom and dad, Sarah, Kris, and me, Jenny
Middle row: Kamiko, Bekki and Dottie, James Sykes, Melia
Bottom Row: Eli and Ingrid Evans, Karen Crockett, Debbie and Mark Amundson

Learning Lessons

First of all, notice that I haven't titled this "Lesson Learned." I don't know that I've learned any lessons during this dang COVID 19 thing. I've had a couple of difficult days. Divorce sucks, even when the marriage was seriously lacking, even when the spirit tells you to do it, even when everything falls into place. Still, it sucks.

I'm back in Utah. Before I left, I asked Doug for a blessing. I'm really glad Kristen took notes and emailed them to me. I got them just when I needed them. Sunday, while talking to Allie, she told me Keenan officially considers himself gay. That's a lot to swallow. I mean, it's not much different from "being attracted to men" but it's definitely a title now. I'm divorced and my ex-husband is gay. Never thought that would be me. Oh well. Onward and forward. Like Bill Stonhaus said, "the past is the past. You've got great things to look forward to." Elder Cornish's counsel that "it's not the end of my story; just the end of a chapter."

Today, I was watching John Krasinski, an actor, on youtube. He's been doing this thing from home that is like a fake news broadcast and it's called Some Good News. I watched the past episodes that I'd missed. Basically, he sits at a desk in his house, with a homemade sign that his daughters made, and talks about the good things people are doing during the corona virus lockdown. People are sending in content to him now. He hosted a prom, with actual musicians attending and singing via skype or facetime. He officiated at a wedding with the whole cast of "The Office" coming after to dance (Krasinski was one of the stars of "The Office"). He hosted a graduation, with celebrities making appearances to answer graduates' questions. I was really touched by one young woman and her question, which was answered by Oprah. The girl asked if there was ever a failure in Oprah's life that actually helped her in the end. Oprah explained that her first big job was in Baltimore, MD, as a co-anchor. The other anchor was an older man and he didn't want her there. After a few months, she was demoted, removed from the anchor desk, and put on the station's talk show. Talk about fortuitous. Below is a bit of what I wrote that Oprah said.

"I believe that failure is an opportunity to move yourself in a different direction. It gets better because you learn the lessons from the first time." - Oprah Winfrey

"Baby, God put a rainbow in the clouds." - Maya Angelou

"Every dusk holds a dawn disguised within it." - a 2020 graduate who spoke at a virtual graduation on John Krasinski's "Some Good News" on YouTube

Blessing given 5/16/20 by Doug East

-I bless you with comfort.
-Know that Heavenly Father is aware of you and loves you and is happy with you.
-Heavenly Father recognizes your faith and concern and your diligence to others and your role as a mother.
-He is aware of the challenges you face now in your life.
-Approach and take each challenge one at a time, being mindful of study and understanding.
-Exercise your faith in understanding the process.
-Take comfort in knowing you are doing the right thing.
-There is love and concern from family and others, take advantage of them and wanting to help.
-Understand that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have a deep and abiding love for you.
-Challenges are given to learn and grow and you may not now or understand why.
-You will look back on this with knowledge.

Allie Graduates from BYU (kind of...)

March 11 was the last day I had anything official on campus. I went to a lecture then to a luncheon for award recipients. It was lovely. Then after the luncheon, I received a text that classes were cancelled for the rest of the semester. That was a long time ago. Winter semester finished online. Spring term was all rolled over to online.

I worked for 3 weeks at a pretty steady pace to get 340 ready for online. 110 was already developed and up and running. We had some tweaks to make, but LeeAnn mostly worked on those. Thankfully. I worked with our designer Emily to make 340 ready for remote learning. It's going well. It's so fun to meet via zoom twice a week. It feels almost normal.

the last zoom with all of our student teachers. It was supposed to be in person with food. 

The last zoom with our interns. This was supposed to be in person, too. Still, lots of smiles. 

Anyway, in mid-March public schools also had a soft close, waiting to see what would happen. The soft close turned into a permanent close for the 2019-2020 school year. Just like that, Allie was also teaching remotely. We went to my office one day and worked together. We bounced ideas off of each other. It was quite fun.

April graduation for BYU was cancelled. That was one graduation I was willing to sit through for my girl, but it wasn't going to happen. Allison felt so bad for Allie that she planned a small get together and mock graduation for Allie. Jenny had a cap and gown that she brought down. Allison decorated with balloons, streamers, and a sign, and she bought cookies. In attendance were: Allison, James, Audrey, and Mac DeVuyst, Allie, Mel, Keenan, me, and Natalie Hancock, our director. It was the first time I saw Keenan since the divorce was final on April 9. It actually wasn't bad.

Anyway, Allison had Allie put on the cap and gown and she played the graduation processional music. As Allie walked from the front yard to the back, the lawn was lined with photos of Allie and one photo of Ellen Swallow Richards, founder of Family and Consumer Sciences. I had asked Natalie if she' be willing to come and say a few nice things about Allie and help us recognize her. She was happy to come. I think that made it really special. I love looking at the smiles on their faces in a couple of these photos. It shows what a great relationship those 2 have. Natalie said that the first time she saw Allie as a TA in the foods lab she knew Allie was special. Then when she went to observe her for the first time at Diamond Fork, Allie was so excited to tell her about a fight she broke up. Natalie even quoted Walt Disney: "If you can dream it, you can do it." A lot of friends and family joined us via zoom. It was a great chance for me to practice setting up a zoom meeting. Kristen, Jenny and Scott, mom and dad, Kamiko and Bekki, Kobi, Mario, Taryn, Lane, Kaleb, Makei joined from as far away as Arkansas and Indiana. Technology is good.

It was so nice of Allison to go to all that work. In fact, she hung streamers twice because right after hanging paper streamers it started to rain and they all fell down. The rain stopped and she put them up again. I'm proud of Allie. She's a great teacher. She'll make a difference for a lot of students. She already has. She's back at the school now, helping clean out lockers and close up the school for the summer. She's signed a contract to go back in the fall. Way to go!

P.S. Starlyn and I bought Allie a Razorbacks license plate frame as a small graduation present. Woo Pig.

I Came Home

Since I'm teaching remotely and I'm newly divorced and homeless and on shelter in place due to Covid-19, I decided to drive to California. I got everyone's permission, of course. I made sure Kristen and Doug were ok hosting me and that Jenny and Scott will be ok hosting me when I get back to Utah.

I also checked with Melia about her birthday, which is today. If she wanted me to stick around for her birthday, I would have, but she said it was ok. So, went went to dinner (me, Allie, and Melia) last week. I also taught my first day of zoom class for SFL 340 to make sure everything got off to a good start, then I headed to the Bay Area on Thursday, April 30. Yes, they want us to "stay home," but I don't really have a home. Mom said I needed to get away and that my sisters needed visits from me.

I actually did great on the drive. It took me 12 hours. I stopped every couple of hours to walk and go to the bathroom. Wendover, which is the first town outside of Utah, on the Nevada border, was quiet. Parking lots were blocked off. The slot machine areas of the gas stations were blocked off too. It was eery.

Before I left, mom was asking how I would do on the drive by myself. I told her I better figure out a way to do it because I'm alone now. The only glitch was when just outside of Carlin, Nevada, I started to feel sick. I mean really sick. I rested a bit then got on the road. Oh boy. I felt more sick. I had to maneuver around two semis to get to the side of the freeway. I pulled over and opened the door just in time to throw up on the freeway.

Then I wiped off my mouth and I felt fine. Funny how throwing up can help one feel better. I kept driving and listening to my audio book. I listened to "The Loveliest Chocolate Shop in Paris." It kept me entertained the whole drive. It took me 12 hours.

I arrived late Thursday. We've gone on walks, done online workouts, ordered Round Table pizza, gone on a hike, attended Sunday school via zoom, washed cars, went to see Maria Trump from a distance, went to a social distancing lunch in the church parking lot, and went to the beach.

the wineries and green hills are so beautiful

cute little poppies. If I get a tattoo, it's going to be of poppies

double pepperoni from Round Table

So thankful that Lord's is deemed essential

Kamiko and Bekki sent me this "orange juice" shirt for mother's day

Beaches are closed between 11 am and  pm. Kris and I left at 8 this morning and drove to Aptos beach, where Doug's sister Karen and her husband, Bill, live. We had plans to just sit on their porch. It was a wonderful day. We got there early enough to enjoy an hour long walk before the beach closed. Karen and Bill joined us. We talked about the short term and long term effects of the shutdown due to corona virus. Bill contends in a year and a half we'll look back and good things came of this. Bill manages millions of dollars for private clients. He's got a sharp mind and knows economics. It was refreshing. He also told me to not be too sad about the past. He said the past is the past. I need to move on and look forward to the next years I have and to make the most of them. I really needed to hear that.

Karen and Bill's quaint backyard

The view from their living room. We sat on that porch for 6 hours today. 

One positive...no traffic. We got to and from the beach in less than 90 minutes each way. Unheard of at that time of day before all of this.