What My Blessing Means to Me

A picture of me and mom in my office because this post is a bit work-related

I had a good visit with Annie Christensen, a former TA, and we talked about the blessing that Kamiko gave me. I still smile about the first part that said that Heavenly Father can't help me. I know it doesn't mean I'm alone. 

After talking to Annie and others and thinking about it, I think it means that I already know what to do. It is time to stop giving 110% to my students. I need to manage my work/life balance better and set boundaries regarding my time and emotional investment. I can't force my students to learn. I can only present opportunities, which I already do. The blessing mentioned that God is aware of my students' weaknesses. That is a relief. I can turn it over to him. 

I tried to take time a week ago to articulate my thoughts, but life got busy, so I didn't write more. I do feel ready to be kind, use policies, and to teach. It will work out. I'm very grateful that Kamiko is a worthy priesthood holder and can give me blessings when I need them. My stake sent a video message this week to remind us that proof of the love of our Heavenly Father is the presence of the priesthood on this earth and the fact that holders of the priesthood can use it to bless us. 

I'm also very grateful I listened to the impression to finish my basement because it's almost done and because I got a raise. I'll be able to replenish my dwindling savings account quite quickly. What a super blessing!

I listened to a podcast about mindfulness and the gospel recently. Something they said really stuck with me. Suffering = pain + resistance. I've seen that in my life. When I resist life's lessons and challenges, I hurt and get into victim mode. I'm sure that having a victim mentality is from Satan, not the Savior. I've seen that when I get into a victim mentality, I'm sad and I suffer. I will try harder to recognize that trials are a part of life. I will try harder to articulate my feelings - to realize that life is difficult. I will try hard to learn from, rather than wallow in trials. 

A sister shared in Relief Society today that true healing comes when one stops telling the story that harmed them. Similarly, I realized this summer that forgiveness for me looks like not wanting to talk negatively about Keenan anymore. I'm getting there. I will get there.