Father's Day 2024

I leave for Europe on Saturday, the day before Father's Day, so I took mom to Holden yesterday to visit dad's grave. I bought some flowers from Trader Joe's and we made 3 small bouquets - one for dad, one for grandpa, and one for Don Gates, Erin Holmes' grandpa who is buried in Holden. Erin is the director of the School of Family Life. Her grandparents retired to Holden from California in the 1990's. We figure they must have known my grandparents, Allie and Otto Hunter. I wanted to find their grave when we went for dad's burial, but it was rainy and I didn't want to spend extra time there. 

So, when we got to the cemetery, we looked at the map and found the Gates'. I took a picture and sent it to Erin and she was very grateful. She said her mom also appreciated our efforts. We put flowers by grandpa, then by dad. The temporary grave marker had had a run-in with the riding mower. It was quite mangled. We were able to straighten it a bit, but not much. What a bummer. 

Mom sat down and cried a bit, saying dad's name. I have asked my kiddos to reach out to her on Father's Day since I'll be gone. The firsts are difficult. I remember that after my divorce. I imagine the firsts after a death are even deeper hurts. I walked to find more family graves to give mom some alone time. We then drove home, taking different roads through Holden. Mom told me that she told dad she never wanted to be buried in Holden, based on her first visit to town and the cemetery. Mom said it was a horrible, ignored mess until a man in town took it upon himself to clean it up. He spent years cleaning it. It's really quite beautiful. It's on the top of a hill and has some huge trees. 

We really liked this grave marker. Mom might look into one just like this. 

We brought root beer, too.